Content

So much has been on my mind lately... where do I begin.

I am happy. I am truly, 100%, couldn't be better, happy where I am in my life. I am healthy, my daughter is healthy. We have a home, a reliable car. I have a good job. I have the ability to continue my education and grow in my professional life. We don't have everything but we have enough. Yes, I have my bad days and things that stress me out but when I sit back and look at my life, this is the happiest I have ever been.

I am so content and comfortable with my life that I wonder.... do I ever want to get married? I really do not know anymore. My entire life, I have envisioned this fairytale wedding. Maybe it is the area I grew up in, but I always thought I would get married in my early twenties and raise a family. I always lived in the future; wanting what I didn't have. I would have a boyfriend but would be living for the possible marriage. Now, when I think of the future, I picture just my daughter and I. I imagine all our holidays together, birthday trips just the two of us. I daydream of buying a little home, perfect for two, with a white picket fence.

I am dating someone right now, that I love. Yes, love. He is so kind, patient & gentle with me. I can talk to him about anything and I feel so safe with him. Do I see a future with him? Possibly.

Is this what contentment feels like? I love working hard and than coming home with my babygirl. I love my alone time. Let me repeat that. I LOVE my alone time. I feel at peace when she is tucked in bed and I can take a bath, read, blog... be completely alone.

I have done a 180! I used to feel the need to always be with someone, especially whoever I was dating. That is probably a huge reason my ex and I didn't work out. I probably suffocated him by always wanting him, needing him, to be with me. Now, I couldn't be happier with being with just me.

Who knows what the future holds. Maybe I will get married. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will adopt a baby someday. Maybe I will raise my daughter and when she turns 18 and goes off to college, I will travel the world. Maybe I will go back to school and earn my PHD. Maybe I will continue to fall madly in love with my boyfriend and I will become a bonus mom and have the best bonus kids and maybe even more of my own. The future is so unknown.

But I do know this. I am happy.


xoxo,

Alex