Two steps forward...

...two steps back. I thought the past was in the past & I was having a fresh start. I am finally feeling like myself again, comfortable in my own skin and truly happy. I feel safe and content. The blessings are continuing to pour over & I always have a full heart. And than BAM! I go from smiles & laughter to frowns & tears. From feeling safe and comforted to having fear and uneasiness. All it takes is one minute to turn my world upside down. IS THIS MY LIFE? That thought keeps streaming through my mind. IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? What seems like forever is only a short amount of time. And than calm. Now what?

A friend said to me the other day, "Remember, any obstacle is an opportunity if we make it so." And I do believe that EVERY opportunity, whether it be good or bad, gives me a chance to grow as a person to become a better woman and a better mom. Where do I go from here? I feel as though my 'fresh start' has been tainted. The bad energy that I worked so hard to get away from is now surrounding me again. I am lost and feeling hopeless. Good night.

As I wake up to the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, my daughter, I realize my past really had molded me into the woman I am today. I AM OKAY! What would have pulled and tugged on me for days and weeks just gave me rejuvenation and even more strength. I just needed a good night's rest and a clear mind. And what it all comes down to is this... my daughter. She has given me this new found strength and love for life that I never knew I had in me. A bad day really isn't that bad because at the end of the day, I have her. God knew what I needed in life and He sent her to me at the right time.

So, as my friend said, every obstacle is an opportunity if we make it so. This obstacle gave me the opportunity to reflect upon my past...the good and the bad... and helped me to see the blessings I do have in my life. With a clear mind and an open heart, I will continue to grow as a person, a woman and most importantly, a mother.

xoxo, Alex