Farewell 2010.... Hello 2011

2010 has come to an end and we are approaching a brand new year. I love it. A time where I can reflect on this past year and prepare for an even better one. 2010 was one of the HARDEST yet one of the GREATEST years of my life. I think I hit the lowest lows and the highest highs and when all of it is said and done, I am coming out of it a better, stronger and more independent woman! This year is just one of 26 that has molded me into the person I am today. I have come along way but I still have so far to go. I am ready for the NEXT STEP. I am a little scared of the unknown but I am ready to for 2011.... the good and the bad. I am excited to see how it will mold me and who I will be in one year from now. Farewell 2010... hello 2011.

xoxo, Alex

Letting go of tears

{sigh} This week has been very emotional. It seems sometimes when I am really trying to do good and put positive energy out into the universe, I find myself jumping hoops and trying to stay afloat. It is the end of the week and the end of the year and I thought I would take sometime to contemplate this past week so as I jump into 2011, I can either be prepared for these hoops or avoid them all together.

{character} One thing my Dad really instilled in me as I was growing up was the value of my character. Integrity is a word he taught me not to use lightly. So this past week when my character was tested and I was told by others that I was selfish, a liar, only thinking of myself.... I was surprised and a little hurt. I pride myself with my character and although I am not perfect, I try to be the best person I can be. One thing that is amazing about this world is that we all see life through our own goggles. No one will ever know how I see things and to me, that makes me feel special. So, when I was called these words, I really tried to look at it from their perspective. And as much as I tried to really understand, those words that were used against me were never justified. The words stung a little but at the end of the day, it gave me time to really think about who I am, who I want to be and how I am going to get there.

{energy} I am a true believer that what ever you put out into the world, it will come right back to you. I think this week was surrounded by negative energy and it did tug at my soul. So, this is me letting go of the tears. I will send them into the sky and down to the ground. It is okay to cry but I think each tear is to give us strength. I am ready to put this not so happy week behind me and walk away a stronger woman.

xoxo, Alex

Inside & Out

I am constantly trying to work on my self... from the inside and out and I realized the other day just how much I was lacking working on the outside. I was house sitting over Thanksgiving weekend and there was a scale in the bathroom. I thought, "What the heck!" I jumped on, knowing I had let myself go a little bit. But to my surprise, I was about 20 pounds heavier than I THOUGHT I was. (I thought I was 25 pounds overweight already) So, do the math..... I AM 45 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT!!!!! This is NOT me. Lets take a roll down memory lane.

Five years ago, I was in the best shape I have ever been in! Going to the gym every morning at 5:30am & doing 2 hour workouts. I was even considering doing a fitness competition at the time. Well, life happened and I started dating someone. Instead of wanting to go to bed at 10:00pm so I could wake up at 5:00am, I was now wanting to stay up late. Slowly but surely, I quit going to the gym, I got comfortable in a relationship and a few years later, I found myself at the SAME weight I am now! I was this weight when I found out I was pregnant. Knowing I was considered 'overweight' already, throughout my pregnancy I was very cautious about my weight gain. I only gained 13 POUNDS during my pregnancy! Soon after I had Addi, I lost 30 pounds and was on a path to what I thought was going to lead to my old fit body! Well, life happened again. This time, it came in the form of a heart wrenching break up, my senior year in college; all while being a single mom.

So, what is the present? I am a single mom, working 25-35 hours a week, (still looking for a steady full time job) at the end of my personal training certification, and 45 pounds overweight. Do I just see what life hands me next or do I take control and and tell life that we are hitting a treadmill and giving up midnight snacks?

So, here goes... something I thought I would never actually put on a public blog.

176 pound body.... you did this to yourself and you will work yourself back to a healthier and happier you!

xoxo, Alex