Only 24 hours you say?

My Tuesday:

5:30am: Wake to get ready for work.
6:45am: Wake up daughter & get her ready
7:15am: Rush out the door
7:30am: Drop daughter off at daycare
7:45am: Get to work
3:45pm: Get off work
4:15pm: Get to the gym to workout
5:00pm: Head to daycare
5:15pm: Pick up daughter & head to grocery store.
5:30pm: Grocery Store. Pick up a few items for dinner.
6:00pm: Head home
6:15pm: Get home, carry groceries & daughter up stairs.
6:30pm: Making dinner & being a mom
7:00pm: Eat dinner
7:15pm: Clean up dinner & pick up house.
7:45pm: Tubby time for the daughter
8:15pm: Quiet time with daughter
8:45pm: Lights out (for daughter)
9:00pm: Mom time (shower, clean up house, plan for next day, ect..)

I'm. Tired.

2012 A Go-Go

7 days into the new year & I think I am ready to set a few goals & make a plan for 2012. So, here goes:

{Physical}

I started another blog {witnessfitness2012.blogspot.com} I have set goals on there & will be making a weekly plan to achieve those long term goals which are:

Here are my 2012 'Bringing Sexy Back' Goals:

Starting Weight: (eeeeeek) 180.7

Goal Weight: 135 (I want 130, I think 140 is a definite goal so I will
meet in the middle)

Lbs to lose per week: 2 lbs.

Goal Weight Date: June 1, 2012 (6 months)

Starting Pant Size: 12 (okay...I am pushing 14)

Goal pant size: 6

Size 10 by: February 20, 2012

Size 8 by: April 16, 2012

Size 6 by: June 1, 2012

Starting shirt size: Large-X Large

Goal shirt size: Small

Size L by: February 20, 2012

Size M by: April 16, 2012

Size S by: June 1, 2o12

I would also like to add three other bad items to the Physical list:

No more biting fingernails

No more pulling eyelashes {I know, horrible}

Floss Daily

{Financial}

Live off the 80/20 Rule: {Live off of 80%. Give 10% to God. Give 10% to self (savings)}

No Credit Card Debt

Pay off 1/4 of my student loan.

{Mental}

Read 1 book a month {12 books in a year}

Complete Personal Trainer Certification

Keep CHES {Community Healthy Education Specialist} certification current

Write in journal (blog) weekly (minimum)

{Randoms}

Be prompt to everything

Improve on time management

Learn guitar
Be a better friend, coworker, sister daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, citizen, auntie and most importantly, MAMA!

{Spiritual}

Pray daily

Read Scriptures

Attend Church

Meditate

There is more I want to accomplish this year but that is a good base. The skys are the limits. 2011 was a hard, crazy, blessed & wonderful year! I look forward to the challenges this year, I am excited for the memories, and I hope at the end of the year I can look in the mirror and say,

"I became a better person in 2012."

xoxo,

Alex

An Unexpected Friendship

{My daughter at 1 week old, being held by myself and her dad.}

{text conversation with my daughter's dad}

Me: I ask Addi, "what do you want to do tomorrow?" She usually says "Go Robin's." {that is her sitter} but tonight she said, "Go Daddy's"

Him: Lol. That's my girl! You are doing a great job raising her. Makes me happy.

Me: Thank you. She is the greatest gift anyone could give me, so thank you.

Him: At least I did something right. Lol.

Me: Haha. Maybe we weren't meant to be together but she was definitely meant to be with us. See.... our crazy relationship was all worth it. (:

Him: You're right! Well said.

This conversation made me tear up a little. I am so proud of us that we are finally getting to this point. All I have ever wanted was to raise my daughter with her dad. At first, I thought we had to be together to do it. When that wasn't an option, I had a hard time accepting that we would raise her in-- what I thought at the time was-- a broken family. Now, I couldn't be happier to be raising her, with her dad, in our own homes. She will have a 'bonus mom/dad' someday {I don't like the term 'step'}. And she is going to have siblings. She will spend some holidays with me & some with her dad. We will do things separately and somethings together. But most importantly, my daughter will be loved from all of her family... no matter how we grow.

xoxo,

Alex

Im Stuck in Between 2011 & 2012

It is day 3 into the new year & I have yet to write down my goals. I have subconsciously been avoiding it. I feel like once they are written, they are set in stone. It is either accomplish each goal or fail (I fear failure). So I have been thinking about why I have not been able to achieve some of my goals lately & this is what I have come to:

I am an "all or nothing" girl. I am either 100% or 0%. If I want to lose weight, I need to do a crazy diet & exercise daily or not do anything at all. If I want to keep a clean home, I need to scrub all day, everyday, or my house will be considered a mess. You catch my drift? What I have realized is I HAVE A HARD TIME BALANCING MY LIFE. AHHHH! I need to find a happy medium.

Also, I am the best at setting a goal! But one mistake I have made in the past is I have not implemented a plan into how I would achieve these goals. I came across this saying today and it has been on my mind:

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

This makes complete sense! I have been setting goals for years, 'wishing' they would come true, without making a plan.

So 2012, it is all about balancing my life & planning how I will achieve my goals. I will also work on setting attainable goals. Baby steps.

I feel a sense of relief & I think I am ready to set this goals and get 2012 rolling.

xoxo,

Alex

Ps. Goals to come in the next post. (:

Say What You Feel

I was about to make this blog private (along with my other blogs) because someone had read some of the blog & didn't like it. My initial reaction was to make it private but than I remembered my favorite quote:

Be who you are and say what you feel because those that mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." {Dr. Seuss}

This is my blog. This is an outlet for me to express myself & how I feel. I mean no harm to anyone. This is my history. It can be raw at times and the truth may hurt. But that is what this is; the truth. This is me.

I want to continue to write and keep this blog open, as I believe people come in and out of our lives for a reason. If I can be of any inspiration or if anyone could be inspirational to me, than I feel this blog has served more than it's purpose.

Below I wrote about family and expressed my feelings on my family dynamic. What I wrote was my true and honest feelings. It was my reality. Life evolves and my family dynamic is growing and shaping with each day. I am happy to say that at this moment in my life, I feel like my family is exactly what it is supposed to be. I didn't take the easiest route & when it comes to my daughter, this is not what I had planned....it is even better. I have the greatest family. I have the best of friends. I am dating an amazing man. And I am building a friendship with my daughter's dad that I thought we could never have. We have had a few bumps in the road & I am sure we will have more. But we got through it & it has made both of us better parents. I am grateful for the love he has for my babygirl. I enjoy watching their relationship grow & am comfortable with our family & the way it is shaping. My daughter's dad (my ex) and I dated for years. I grew to love him & hate him & love him all over again. We were not meant to be together but our daughter was meant to be with us. He gave me the greatest gift anyone could ever give me. I love him for that.

I love my unplanned little life. It is everything it was supposed to be.

xoxo,

Alex

Family

Family. Is there an exact definition to this? I have been thinking alot about my family lately, both my family I grew up in and my little family I have created. This weekend has really got me thinking and a little emotional.

Today is my mom's 50th Birthday. We got up early this morning and my brother, dad, mom and I went on a tandem bike ride up the canyon. None of us have ever been tandem bike riding and it was really fun. I rode with my brother and we were laughing non stop. One thing with tandem bike riding is that you either trust or learn to trust the other person on the bike. He was in front and I couldn't see ahead so I hoped and prayed he was watching the path. My sister and her girls, sis-in-law and brother and of course, my little girl, were waiting for us with breakfast at a park. We hung out for a little while and than rode back. As I sat around the table I thought about our family. Is this what my Mom thought her reality would be like at 50? Is this the family she wanted? We definitely aren't perfect but through it out, we have all stuck together. I love my family so much and have such great relationships with all of them.

Tomorrow is Father's Day and to be honest, this holiday has become a little bitter sweet. First and foremost, I love my dad with all my heart. This is a day where we get to celebrate him as being our daddy and focus on just that. I couldn't imagine my life without him and I am so grateful he was such an active father. I remember at my high school graduation, he was out of town for business. To be honest, it didn't bother me that he might not be there. But what I didn't realize was how much it would mean to me when I walked off that stage and he was there. He flew back for me. And to this day, when I think back to my graduation, that memory of having my dad there means the most.

As for the bitter sweet part of Father's Day? Well, it is the heartbreak I have for my daughter, who's dad isn't exactly in her life right now. Who does she celebrate on this day? Who does she get to give a card too? When she gets a little older, and they make crafts at school, who will she be making hers for? I know she is only two and I pray to God that things will change and she will have the same experiences I have had growing up with an amazing dad.

However, how lucky am I that I have such great men in my family that have stepped up to the plate to be there for her. Last weekend, my little girl slept at my parent's house because I had to work at 6am on Saturday morning. The plan was that I would come over Friday night after work and tuck her in bed. But when I got there, my dad asked if he could take her to the carnival. I was a little hesitant. My dad... taking a crazy two year old to a carnival... all by himself? He wanted to do it, so off they went. This is something he would've done when I was two and I am so grateful that my little girl has her Papa who will take her to do things.

So I guess the definition of a family is irrelevant when it comes to who makes up a family. Me, my little girl and doggy are the perfect family right now. Who knows how we will grow. More dogs? Maybe a cat? Maybe a dad? Maybe a dad with kids? More kids? As long as we have each other, we have it all.

I love my family!

xoxo, Alex

Destiny

Change your choices and change your world. Change your choices and change your destiny. You have one chance at life-here and now. And you have only this lifetime to get it right.

xoxo, Alex